02 August 2006 11:15 a.m. The Blog That Ate a Presidency. yes, i realise i've devolved into regurgitation (but such original regurgitation!). such is the price i'm paying for academic diligence. yeah, well, fuck y'all, fuckers etc. i have, though, uncovered a suspect in the case of the varsity monkey troop being fed with leftover fruits and nasi lemak (20 packets? whose wrappers are scattered all over the pavement the next day? come on) - it is one of the campus guards. for shame, sir. i didn't even need to dust for fingerprints, such are my deductive powers, seeing as how i actually saw him toss food to them as i drove by a few days ago. there's an exhibition on the realm of the supernatural/mysterious being held at the varsity museum (the museum of asian art). i don't know how fossils are considered supernatural, ditto the stuffed burung cenderawasih birds (birds of paradise - celestial birds "full of nutrition", honestly!), as well as the crystallised "tiger's milk", but zoology isn't my strong point. anyway, as i rounded a corner, i saw It. It floated about 3 feet off the floor, heedless of the crowd. Its long, matted hair obscured Its face, but Its clean, white robes were dark with blood, but i went up to It anyway. would something leap out at me as i read the exhibit label in Its hair? yes - a feeling of bemusement as i approached one of the museum guides and gestured to the paku pontianak (vampire stake) display. me: i can see the vampire, but where's the stake? *imaginary freak out - OMGWTF you have a vampire here on the loose and you don't have a stake??!* for some reason, most of the exhibits are from indonesia. we probably don't have as many faerie-types of our own because the Bigfoot's gone and eaten most of them. the museum has 3 floors, with the ground floor presumably devoted to the exhibition of the moment. the next floor are devoted to asian art like broken pottery and naked indian sculptures while the top floor holds various pointy objects - sharp, blood-thirsty keris and parangs! yesterday was my very first view of a REAL chainmail suit. Terry and i approached it slowly - he with caution, i with reverence (did Eomer once wear it?). it wasn't kept in a glass case and it was about six feet long but only lightly rusted in spots. it was very heavy. no, we didn't try it on, but we lifted the lapel bit and tapped on the iron breastplates, bruising our knuckles in the process. the breastplates (hur hur) were solid like those charcoal powered irons my grandma used. more jenglot (in bahasa indonesia! white text on black background! medical examination carried out! molecular biology does not lie! or so they say!). so much for regurgitation.
now that's boss
guide: um...
me: it's supposed to be in the top of its head, right?
guide: yeah, but... well, you see, they haven't sent it over yet.
me: you have a vampire stake display with the stake missing???
guide: ya. say, have you seen the jenglot and djinn display?
bloody nigerians
translation - ATTENTION: this is your second notification. the Association of Hainanese Dragons (literal translation) has selected this number during its 10th anniversary celebrations to win 9.6 million american dollars. please contact Miss Lim at the following number as soon as possible!
how dare you send this rubbish to me! (it's the country code for china though - how sneaky is that?)
why can't i be normal and get it in my email?
by the way, Imanol Harinordoquy is pronounced "very big man". oh, okay, it's "airy-nor-daw-key". hope it helps.
24 July 2006 12:06 p.m.everybody's changing and ... *slaps self*
does it ever feel like you're the only one who's not moving on with your life? oh, alright, Hester has received two offers to further her studies in England under an academic training scheme, Sarah (my bestest friend ever from my undergrad days) is still studying up north, and erm, Simone is heavily pregnant. she let me feel her belly when the baby kicked. i don't know, i think i wasn't as awed as i should have been. maybe it'll kick in on the day i miss my period. oh wait, that's different.
Hester says she's afraid of how alone (and lonely?) she'll be when she leaves. this is completely unacceptable and selfish behaviour - what about the people who have to stay behind and miss her?
Alice is seeing some middle eastern guy. half their dates are over the internet and i know this because she comes to the lab for the free wifi and we all hear her arguing with him over Skype.
i believe the Sally has found herself a man because she's wearing tighter, brighter clothes around the lab now, and if you ask her if she's wearing any eyeliner, i expect she'll act bashful in order to hide how pleased she is that someone noticed. too bad she has a tv butt - wide and flat (badumbump!).
you shuld also never tell Alice if you have a real secret, because she'll just tell everyone. tell me, and i'll only tell it to the internets.
i must be getting old. i meant to post a picture of the car of a woman who parks outside my house every sunday morning without fail, but you know, it doesn't bother me personally, although i wouldn't mind if her car gets damaged because she's such a twat.
... i'm not getting old, i'm turning into a denialistic pacifist. nevermind, i've thought of what i'm going to do this sunday, and i'll post a picture of that.
20 July 2006 10:34 a.m.so how now
if i've not been updating this blog, nor my journal, or writing up my dissertation, then what the hell have i been doing?
i've been watching Jerry Lewis movies, that's what. and Clint Eastwood too. what a man.
also, Graceshu sent me a picture of mosquito gonads (thanks Graceshu. where is your super sekrit blog that i don't know about??). i have been taking stock of my latest excursion to singapore - i am poor now. i doubt any parent would be happy to see that on a mug. i don't know.
i just have to say this - the first single off of Muse's latest album Black Holes & Revelations is quite possibly the perfect accompaniment to writing a slashfic. it makes you think of words like "grandiose", "baroque", "dramatic", "tragic", "arabesque" and "eyeliner", the last of which is to be found in the video. however, there is the (unfortunate?) issue of the song's title - Super Massive Blackhole, which may or may not inspire the writer.
they're tearing up the road outside my house. the repaving is being carried out right up to my driveway, and the steamroller makes the whole house shake. golly. those road workers sound angry all the time. please don't hit my car.
13 July 2006 6:24 p.m.compensation
i was supposed to post pictures of some other guy (some footballer) but then i found these classics from Scott-O-Rama, and they're too good to pass up, okay?
this is one of my favourites, although i do wonder what that bulge on the shadow is.
(scroll down, absolutely NOT work-safe, ta very much. for god's sake try to contain yourselves!)
okay, last one - Tottyland.10 July 2006 10:10 p.m.the best part of all
Cannavaro (right): dude, we are totally misleading the fangirls here.
Pirlo (left): man, i don't care.
Cannavaro: man, i ain't feelin' nuthin'!"03 July 2006 1:37 p.m.
squalid
the room was dim, sunlight barely making it through the double layer curtains. an oscillating fan tried in vain to cool the hot, humid air.
a disembowelled tissue box lay on its side, nestled amidst its used tissue guts. clothes, both clean and dirty, littered the floor, mingling with strands of fallen hair and impossibly huge clumps of dust.
the shape on the bed was still. possibly too still, but it was hard to tell, because it was twisted up in a blanket that had seen better, and cleaner, days; its face buried in pillows that should have been aired a long time ago. the blanket stank. the sheets, marked with ancient sweat stains and molded to the shape lying on them, stank. the shape, too, stank. it had once been familiar with the concept of a shower.
the near imperceptible breathing of the shape increased slightly, and it coughed - a wheezy, rattly, phlegmatic cough. and then all was still again.
29 June 2006 11:37 a.m.shameful (is it really?)
at least the bus driver had a good view of the drama. next time, i'll bring four pieces of tissue instead of three. that's what happens when you have to leave your boyfriend in Singapore.
now i have all this time alone, a group of great friends whom i've neglected and totally no idea as to how i'm going to ingratiate myself to them again.
p.s. - the department head has not stepped down. i heard he's requesting an extension instead. WE'RE DOOMED.
25 June 2006 12:51 p.m.how bad things happen to some catholics
i was in Singapore for four days, a squatter in dad's hotel room (he attended the CommunicAsia 2006 gadget fair thing). his former classmate, Solomon, took us to Clarke Quay for dinner on our last night there.
after half a beer, a red-faced Solomon said, "how well do you think you know your father ah?"
"i know he likes to eat," i said disingenously.
"ya, but what else do you know? did you know your parents nearly didn't have you because your dad wanted to convert the world?" he asked.
as it turned out, dad, who had studied in one of those mission schools as was common at the time (at least, i think so), had wanted to be a priest. and then he'd discovered KL.
dad said nothing, but chuckled in to his second beer.
cool bug and some cathedral.
