20 September 2005 2:41 p.m.
no mock chicken in sight
the card, the outfit, the shoes, the bag, the car.
the mission: to lead Alice and Sally, with Simone and Olivia in my car to the other side of the world outskirts of KL in order to attend Dr. Terry's (our newly minted Ph.D holder) wedding. don't knock me, i only do the mall circuit.
Alice, Sally, Olivia, Simone and i huddled by a pillar while waiting for the ceremony to start. none of us had been to an actual buddhist/traditional chinese wedding before. songsheets were given out and sneaky shots of chandeliers were taken. we (i?) quietly marvelled at how a drab exterior could hide such richly appointed statues.
we'd had our fill of incense before the monk MC (MMC? head monk? abbot?) announced the entrance of the happy couple, and the Wedding March was played, then stopped Terry and his bride walked down a red carpet to the tune of buddhist chanting.
when they reached the end of the aisle, MMC led us in a round of bowing and genuflection, which saw everyone on the groom's side, i.e. us, being totally confused.
lesson #1 if you ask a guy the following question - "excuse me, are you a buddhist? cos i don't know what we're supposed to do right now." he will evidently interpret it as, "excuse me, you are hot, please talk to me at every chance you get. oh, and i think your chubby friend is pretty cute too. i encourage him to come up to me and ask to take pictures with me."
maybe make-up is a repellent, cos i sure as hell wasn't wearing any. they get props for trying though, i guess.
after jostling for photos, we were supposed to go to Terry's new flat, but we missed the leader car, and as a result, the tea ceremony. just as well, i suppose, because his place is rather cosy (real estate doublespeak alert!). did i mention walking up six flights of stairs while carrying his gift?
i confess - i like buying things and wrapping them up, because a wrapped package presents an infinite number of possibilities to the recipient, and i get to pretend about it too, even though i know what's inside. it must be the look of delight and wonder people get when they receive a gift ("ooh, it's heavy! maybe it's a his 'n' her vibrator set with matching manacles and nipple tassles!"). i hope they won't mind that it's actually a crockery set.
Terry talked us into helping out at the reception/lunch. we were to register the guests and usher them into the restaurant when they arrived. control freak that he was though, he himself ended up playing usher.
it was interesting to see how academic staff dress when they aren't at work, although i was quite non-plussed when most of them were surprised to see me at the registration table. if i work in a lab, am i not competent enough to hold a pen?!
there was also an indian MC who wore a floppy afro wig and spoke perfect mandarin and some hokkien (everybody: "WTF?"), although it was rendered incoherent due to the volume and extreme un-funniness, as well as a firework-type rocket which was set off from the back of the restaurant (where my group was seated) and whizzed along a wire down to the front, where the stage was. we were left with ringing ears and nausea from the smoke, but the vegetarian menu made up for it -
1. five lucky combo - satay, fried fish, chinese mushrooms, fried tofu skin topped with mayo and... some other thing.
2. braised superior shark's fin soup
3. "wawa" fish (heheh) in thai special sauce - sweet and sour sauce, really.
4. stewed monkey head mushroom with special sauce - what it says.
5. crispy fried yam prawn
6. royal kingdom abalone - they had the texture of boiled liver, strangely enough. we left it pretty much alone.
7. mixed green vegetable & "meat" in bird's nest
8. waxed meat rice with two varieties of sausage -
9. special fancy duets - steamed buns filled with green kaya.
10. double lightness sweet dessert - heavy on the rock sugar.
we were stuffed to our eyeballs by the time (8) came around. the thing about chinese food is, if it's not supposed to make you strong, then it's supposed to be good for your head/eyes/heart/liver/tummy/genitals. and i recommend ginger tea to keep all of that down.
before we left, Alice complimented me on how easy it was to follow me, because i am a chronic indicator-light abuser. and then we got separated walking to ourr respective cars, and Sally and Alice promptly got lost on their way to the exit. i still haven't heard from them.
trivia: 18th september was the day of the mid-autumn festival. it was also the day Jimi Hendrix died.
