24 June 2005 8:30 a.m.
road trip"have you been to an indian wedding? no? how about a circus? yes? well, an indian wedding's no different."
- The Kumars at No. 42.
two weekends ago, i went up north to Perak for a friend's (Simone) engagement engagement. it's about two hours away, so we took the bus because i am chickenshit when it comes to inter-state highways, and with good reason - the driver of the bus we were on had trouble with depth perception, and thus kept a distance of four feet between the bus and any car that was in front of it. well, at least until the car let the bus overtake it.
i remember watching and thinking, "eh, buses not allowed to overtake people on the highway wat" and then the driver did, so i thought the best thing to do would be to sleep. that way, even if the bus was involved in an accident and we were all killed instantly, i would never know! i'm good at coping like that.
we got to Simone's house in one piece. her cousin led us to the house where the men were dragging coconut leaves about to be woven into decorative fences (for want of a better term), and the women were in the kitchen behaving as women should; and everyone just stared at us. maybe it was the t-shirt, and maybe it was the fact that i don't look indian. or a definite race of any sort. please excuse my parents for being so racially-integrated like that.
we were brought into the kitchen, where Simone's mother and a million other aunts were cooking lunch. i was a little disappointed that they weren't singing and dancing as they worked, but then i remembered that it only happens in little french villages.
we passed the afternoon eating, teasing Simone about her hennaed hands, sleeping through a thunderstorm and taking pictures of the room we were in while waiting for Olivia and Igor to arrive.
as dusk fell, i was exploring the narrow confines of Simone's bathroom, scraping my knuckles against the planks that supported the water tank above. they don't live below the poverty line or anything, it's just the kind of renovation some malaysians carry out in their homes.
when i emerged from my shower, some of Simone's relatives had already arrived and were sitting in the chairs that had been arranged on the front porch. some staring ensued.
me: oh shit everyone is wearing a pretty sari!
them: wtf is that chick doing running around in a towel and that t-shirt!
after getting dressed, we went outside the house to await the fiance's arrival. Simone's relative and neighbours stared at us and we stared back, wondering if there was a rule that stated that men and women had to sit apart from each other. i think we half expected a burly bouncer-type guy to "usher" us to our proper seats.
as the music changed from bass-heavy bollywood beats to the more strident strains of traditional indian instruments, we craned our necks for the arrival of the groom. about a dozen female members of his entourage marched by, bearing gifts, the most interesting of which was a tower made out of Cadbury milk chocolates.
maybe it says something about the guy that he managed to slip past us without any fuss.
did you know that i couldn't find any proper information on a hindu engagement ceremony? not even on wikipedia. the most i could gather was that a coconut carries great significance in the event, and there was one indeed at Simone's engagement. i'd seen the women shaving an old one in the afternoon, but silly me, i thought it was for dinner.
basically, the parents agree that their children are suited to each other, and they seal the deal by sprinkling each other with blessed water (mother sprinkles mother and vice versa) and then smearing warpaint turmeric paste (i think) on each other's foreheads. following this, the girl emerges from her chambers and accepts the boy's gift of a sari (this is the sari she will wear on her wedding day). then, she returns to her chambers to change into the new sari. this is the part where people get restless and kids start annoying everyone because she doesn't reappear for another half an hour or so - that's how long it takes to get out and then into another sari, all the while not smearing her ass-load of make-up or upsetting her hair.
when the girl comes out again, everyone sighs with relief the mak andam (an older woman who takes on the role of beautician, and sometimes, midwife) wreathes the couple with big garlands composed primarily of chrysanthemums, apparently. they then bless and smear each other as their parents did, and seek the blessings of their parents and future in-laws before the camera-man blinds everyone with his light lamp. i swear i got sunburn from it.
and then everyone gets to eat. mock mutton is pretty cool, even though it's really tofu in disguise.
the next day, we hitched a ride with Simone's neighbour to go to the bus station. i think that will be the last time in a while i ride in a car where the driver is a mechanic - they have no depth-perception at all.
bonus second (mini) post
another friend got married last week. the reception was held at a hotel at the end of a road with no streetlights. the Anuar Zain banners outside confused me further (i'd swear he wears a wig). i wore my killer heels and spent more time posing and talking than eating. if the pictures look blurry, it was because the camera had too much to drink.
