27 October 2004 12:28 p.m. dear driver of the silver proton waja bearing the licence plate WLK 8192, Rudy the Cam Boi has complained that i have not been posting as many hysterical rants about inconsiderate drivers as he would have liked to see. this is a most disagreeable situation - i hope this letter will remedy it. i have drawn the following conclusions on your personality based on the fact that you parked your car right in front of my gate this morning so that you could buy "fresh" vegetables from the travelling veggie vendor - 1. you are an idiot. if i ever see your car in front of my house, i'm going to go out and honk my horn till you leave. have a nice day. p.s. - it's not a crime to blow your nose on a car because it didn't happen if no one sees you! hope you're feeling better, Rudy. what are the grounds for her expulsion? why didn't UUM notice the pregnancy in the first place? c'mon, an undergrad attending classes while doing a constantly improving impression of a sperm whale and no one says, "well, you've been eating well lately," or some such comment that showed that people still pay attention to their fellow humans? didn't you hear the bit where her parents said they'd be willing to look after the baby? what person would give up their grandchild? maybe it was an open secret, but really, it's all bollocks. UUM doesn't give a shit about its students. bloody holier than thou wankers. she doesn't need "rehab", she needs unwavering support. but then, you know, society is so shite these days that the only thing it can do to make itself feel better is to make someone else feel worse. p.s. - it's only a "delicate issue" because old people are afraid of it. they're afraid of the fact that my generation is capable of having sex and having babies and making mistakes without having to ask permission from their elders. what the hell do you need elders for - they got us into this mess in the first place with their "there are some things we don't discuss" bullshit condescension.
i am a woman of letters
2. you are a damned idiot for assuming the veg were fresh, but no one knows how long they've been there on the back of the pickup truck, exposed to all manner of diesel fumes and bird poo.
3. you wear figure-shaping underwear, because someone your age doesn't have a body like that without help. oh, and your hair is too young for you.
4. you are inconsiderate - what if a snake had gotten into my house (again) and had bitten someone? where would the ambulance park then?
5. you go to the weekly night market and mess up MY neighbourhood.
6. you double-park outside your kid(s)' school so that the poor dears "won't have to walk so far."
7. you carry your kid(s)' schoolbags (but who doesn't these days? independence is so last generation.)
8. you are stupid - you left the car unlocked and your kid in the back seat. oh yes, i saw him - a boy of about 5 or 6. i wouldn't kidnap him, but i'd slash your seats and give him ice cream to keep quiet because kids can't eat anything without smearing, especially ice cream.
9. you stand in the middle of supermarket aisles to compare prices.
how does it feel to know you're about to ruin someone's life?
why is it wrong to have a baby?
my parents both worked when i was small, right, so someone else had to make sure i wasn't bumping around the house and upsetting pans of boiling water. so, i was bundled off to the neighbour 2 doors up (3 doors down eh, eh?!).
my babysitter (MBS) was a nutter. it would be easy to blame MBS for the fact that i like food, but hate eating (possible lah. remember how adidas keeps declaring "impossible is nothing" and that accented statement by Kaká saying... nevermind, it's been done to death already). you see, her being pretty crazy old, and me being very small, it made sense to her to make mush for breakfast, lunch and quite possibly, tea.
some mush is good, like Navarro/Electra and Sheva/Kaká romances, but those are different from what i was fed, according to what mum remembered - she came home early one day, and came over to bring me home. MBS packed some mush for me to eat at home because she didn't want to waste it.
right. so mum fed me, and she said i wouldn't swallow (shutup), and stayed like that for half an hour. it finally twigged for her to taste what had been inflicted upon my adorable self and WOW i was sent to another babysittter as soon as possible.
now, there's nothing wrong with using leftover meat in your porridge, but mum said that the meat was so old that it beyond tasteless, and when that happens, then, um, your parents get really angry and have it out with MBS, who says that it would have been a shame to waste any food. naturally, she never ate what she'd fed me.
(it's like a plot for a horror/suspense movie. oh wait, Mrs Doubtfire has already been made)
her children adored me though. when i say "children", it actually means "her offspring who were already of childbearing age". they said that they would have loved to have a child like me, such was my cuteness. i wonder where i went wrong ehe.
i say MBS was a nutter because she yelled at anyone who pissed her off, nevermind that it was dinner time and the last thing people would want to hear was her shrill, blackboard-scraper voice telling someone that their family would die (ham ka chan) or something equally nasty about their future children. her poor husband wasn't spared either. i remember him as a quiet old man who liked to go for long walks alone (gee i wonder why) until the day he passed away.
mum, whom i think still holds the mush incident against MBS, has always opined that such behaviour was the best way to earn a karmic bitchslap. she feels vindicated, because MBS now has a veritable vegetable for a grandson, and her children work in singapore or somewhere distant. i've only seen them visit a few times too.
i'd say the grandson has cerebral palsy, but he doesn't. he spends his waking hours in a wheelchair, and is wheeled around the block in the evenings by their much-beseiged maid, who spends most of her waking hours being yelled at for the daftest reasons.
once, that maid chatted with our maid, and said MBS was a right nutter, and most people are frightened of nutters, you know.
27 October 2004 12:06 p.m.well, it's none of my biz...
but then again, who wouldn't want to see Eminem getting people to vote against Bush?
(link obtained from oh la la Paris)
25 October 2004 6:43 p.m.they continued on with their group orgy with no regard for their own personal safety
moden etiket lesson #1
when a friend says, "eh, why you don't have boyfriend ah? you too picky issit?" what is your response -
a. ignorance - "i dunno."
b. bluster - "i can't help it if i can't find someone as good looking/hawt/sexy as i am."
c. modesty - "no-lar, i shy lah!"
d. honesty - "yeah, i wish i was more like you." "i can't help it, i'm not as accepting as you are."
TV3 sucks
so they were filming something for deepavali, and decided to close off the road uphill from where i live, and partially close off the road downhill from where i live. hallo, since when does a municipal council filming permit allow you to place restricted access upon the residents to their own neighbourhood ah?
they don't even live in the house they've rented on this road, but they had policemen waving people back from what was to be their right of way. that's bollocks, man.
what actually boggles my mind is despite the furniture and filming equipment they rented, and the actors they hired as well as the food they, doubtless, had to provide for all those involved, it actually slipped their minds to shell out loose change to pay for flyers to inform the residents about the incovenience they would cause on saturday.
for most of the day, people would drive uphill, only to be turned back, or made to wait while the way was cleared. quite few drivers honked indgnantly, and i don't blame them.
you might think it's only a shoot, but when a mountain-biking carnival was held at the park a few months ago, one of the first things the organisers did was to inform everyone on our road, via flyers; that on sunday, we would have to deal with the sight of about 100 fit, tanned fellas from various countries tramping around in their cycling outfits, and invited us to "join the fun!".
that's class, see, and it was a local production, mind.
Faust said maybe my sparkling personality allows me to pimp myself that way (okay, i'm paraphrasing), but the next time i go to a friend's birthday party, i'll have to make sure i'm wearing my "my hair is not an afrodisiac" tee-shirt. maybe they thought that tugging on my fabulously shiny, gorgeously curly ponytail would give them some mojo. all i know is, my Bathing Ape tee - by Nigo (baby Milo! sihat dan kuat! - GraceShu.com [TM]) somehow prompted a friend to squeeze my, quote, tight ass, end quote.
there is no decency left in this world.
as Chuck Palahniuk assed, speaking as Victor Mancini (from Choke), "what would Jesus not do?"
and no, not crying during The Passion doesn't make me heartless - it means i'm numb.
23 October 2004 1:59 a.m.i must be slow
when my friends and i go to eat at actual restaurants (as opposed to stalls), my friends tend to pay, and then refuse to let me pay them back.
i don't get it - i work and i get a paycheck and... this.
either my friends really like me or i have a closet lesbian fan-club.
22 October 2004 8:09 a.m.things i never knew i never knew
1. do monkeys eat coconuts?
2. do cats get stretch-marks?
3. do animals suffer from non-stress-related psychological disorders?
4. my photobucket account has exploded its storage capacity (159%! got such thing meh?).
temporary housing hosting to be located at Imageshack(TM) until i can register for another free account.
it's just you and me and the sparks between us, baby
did you know that cockles aren't meant to be cooked on a grill? i wish i'd known that before it had exploded. no worries, only my ego was harmed.
UM monkeys are the cutest things when they're not cornering you for food. i saw one playing with a side-view mirror (never mind which car doesn't have one now), trying to touch the monkey it saw in the reflection. it reached behind the mirror a few times to feel up the reflected monkey. upon failing to do so, it would peek around the mirror, and seeing nothing, look back at the mirror again. repeat ad infinitum or until spectator or monkey gets bored, whichever comes first.
and then they get toothing (?) pains, but they don't have those chewing rusks that babies have, so they make do with the rear-view windows of cars parked beside the road.
i sat at a passenger drop-off point and watched people for a while today, and i wasn't bored. i wonder what it means!
