i'm not a model employee - Suze thinks i skive a lot. this is true, but my work-place stress is more bigger than her work-place stress.

i think you'd be stressed too, when your department has a Psycho Office Guy (POG) who likes to pop into the post-grad room when he has absolutely no business being there, and then says, "oh," and backs out, murmuring something only he can understand. and then 3 seconds later he opens the door again and asks, "is the aircon on?"

FUCKING RIGHT IT'S ON. THERE'S A LIGHT THAT SHOWS IT'S ON.

and yes i am stressed because instead of leaving, POG then spends an eternity memorising my profile. this, on top of lurking in the corridors like some third-rate Gollum; and creeping into labs, thinking we are his friends.

there's nothing that says he can't do that, but damn it's irritating when he's giggling in a corner like that.

mahai i am surrounded by idiots and nutjobs.

yeah, your mama too.

you know, i'm not the best of co-drivers. yesterday i went out for tea with my co-workers Olivia* and Igor**. Olivia drove, though i'd parked behind her car (gas tank on empty mah). i was prattling about the tape that was playing while Olivia was reversing out of the space when suddenly Igor started screaming like a stuck pig swine (haha, me so PC yeh fuck noooooo).

"stop stop stooooooooop omg!!!" quote he, so Olivia stamped on the brakes.

"what?" she said, eyes as round as saucers.

"you were going to reverse into IM's car!" Igor said. Olivia's saucer eyes widened even more and we looked at each other. turns out she was looking at me instead of the rear-view mirror.

"it's okay," i assured her, "i have bull-bars."

Olivia spluttered something about her car having been dented enough times already.

*not her real name
**has the distinction of having a pseudonym that doesn't start with the first letter of his real name

query - why do people say stupid things like "a group orgy"?

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18 October 2004 10:35 p.m.
perfect strangers

my department is located on the top floor of a 4 storey building. sounds from outside spiral upwards with the wind and find their way through windows and vents. we know about road rage incidents before they're reported because we hear irate motorists leaning on their horns, and we know when there's a case for the A&E, because ambulance sirens are audible from blocks away.

today, we found out what it's like when a child discovers death - the mortuary is located on the ground floor. my co-worker turned the radio on, but the sounds of My FM failed to drown out the screams of, "abah, abah...!"

well, it was the first time i could hear almost every word.

you can get used to the sight of death, i guess, but i don't think anyone gets used to the sight of those left behind.

some kid out there is going to grow up with a shadow over his/her life. i guessing it was an auto accident that killed the father/grandfather, because that always seems to be the case these days - either that or a heart attack. it makes me wish that people could see the results of their recklessness. i think there would be less fatalities then.

"hello, i'm Michael - the s.o.b. who was driving around with shit for brains. it was me who introduced your daughter's head to a lamp post. i'm very sorry."

man, fasting leads to introspection and reflection which leads to gloom and the superb view of a world in various shades of gray.

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17 October 2004 9:03 p.m.
i see the hole in your soul

i am turning into a bloody softy - i saw Robbie Williams on tv singing No Regrets live at Knebworth and started tearing at the end of it.

that's right - i'm the one to save him, not the 99,999 of you out there. the first step would be to get him to sign my copy of Feel (it's a book, dontcha know, and it'll probably read better than Posh's diary).

it's just more proof that Jessica Simpson should be shot, you know. her and her spasmically tic-ing kid sister.

i saw my ex at OU just now. that's the second time i've seen an ex there. i have to go elsewhere to hang out.

so what was different about him? well, he wasn't as hot as he used to be. that's some consolation hahaha. i mean, he had really nice legs before, but not anymore. i hope no one ever says that about me =D

p.s. - graceshu is my heroin(e) - what's your perfect drug?

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16 October 2004 12:34 a.m.
against all odds

the odds being the Hummer he drives.

click lah.

too incoherent to write properly... seems to happening quite often here soifnoonecommentsiwillbeverysadandiwillneverwriteagain EVAR.

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14 October 2004 9:52 p.m.
Big Brother is dead

MTV has transformed a generation of pubescent girls into hyperactive, attention-deficient energizer bunnies.

but dude, if Joaquin Phoenix was only 2 feet away from me then yeah i'd lose it too.

this just in a.k.a. why signing up for an italian mailing list has it benefits - Kaká's wedding is tentatively scheduled for January 2005.

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13 October 2004 11:01 p.m.
if familiarity breeds contempt, then maybe parents should be treated like strangers

GOOD LUCK, KIM!

Marilyn Manson + Frederic Michalak = major angst buster

i had my doubts about a "Best Of" album that has 3 cover versions though.

listening to MM doing Personal Jesus was a very dismal affair. it's like a scene from one of those cliched 80's movieswhere the lead character is re-evaluating his purpose in life in a seedy little strip bar, while a bored dancer gyrates with practised, mechanical grace as the dim red lights throw everything into shadow.they both wear an expression of studied weariness, their minds a million miles away. maybe they're thinking of their next fix, their next lay, or someone they left.

it's the kind of thing you'd be embarrassed to watch with your parents becaused it's so cynical and contrived, it cheapens every one for the experience. i like it, though.

so, liek, all these newsagents were raided for selling magazines like Loaded and FHM because those mags contain "questionable content". are we supposed to look for naked women on the internet now?

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13 October 2004 12:46 a.m.
just when you think the estrogen wave has subsided...

link kindly, benevolently, generously provided by Tea Rose

SUZE, it's CLEMENT - your hunka-hunka hunk favourite! and Fred... FRED is there!!!

my only regret is that now that their hunkiness is unleashed upon this (heretofore) unsuspecting world, there will more rabid fangirling. it'll be like mainstream, liek.

but i'll love naked Fred nevertheless.

see also: mummy, i want that for christmas.

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12 October 2004 10:20 p.m.
it's times you can't have something that you want it like never before.

our circuit breaker has been tripping at the most inopportune times, like when i'm chatting to Prince Andriy of Kiev. it's okay, it adds an element of suspense to my otherwise mundane life (when i'm not tripping over that middle-eastern looking guy at the cafe).

today, it tripped during a brief thunderstorm and refused to be switched back on. it was one of those times when an MTV-style barrage of images flashes before your eyes -

oh no it's dark
there's no internet
i don't know what to do
i could read!
what do i have to read?
let's read Chuck (Palahniuk)!
how long can i read?
wow it's getting darker
maybe i should shower
oh wait there's no hot water
man i'm bored
rain rain rain
the desolaton of the human psyche
hiding beneath a veneer of nonchalance
hiding the desola-- oh wait said that already
man i'd like a coffee now
OH WAIT THERE'S NO HOT WATER

the electrician came over and the cause of all the trouble was our (heretofore) trusty water-heater pot - every time we added water, the electricity it used to heat it would trip the circuit breaker. only in Taman Tun, folks!

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