11 August 2004 8:14 p.m. i was thinking of Joaquin Phoenix woo woo woo. Vincent Kartheiser could play his son, never mind the fact Heathclif has/had black eyes. it's dangerous for me to go to shopping malls by myself. it always starts off so innocently - "i'll do a price check on mum's coffee on the way to buy a snack". then i'm walking through the aisles of the hypermarket and it becomes "i need new cleanser et al.". and then i call mum and she decides she doesn't want the small bottle of coffee, so i trek back to the other end of the mall. on the way, "ooh, i wonder if Movie Magic has Franz Ferdinand". and then i discover a "20% discount" sticker on Muse's Absolution. there's a new boy band roaming the region. after seeing their video on 3 consecutive channels (we get cable for that?), i am moved to comment. however, it is only to deride the unsettlingly asexual smoothness of their crotches. there is nary a bulge, only a Ken-like blandness. poor North. did you know Doug Howlett has his own web site? and he has a diary too! what a nice fella. i know it's lame but sometimes clichés are all you have, you know? as i was saying, i was watching mtv and then boom, Robi Rosa and his liquid gaze, the prettiest thing i've seen all day. that's how you keep me quiet for half an hour. i'm so easily entertained, but damn can that man shake his bon-bon or what. did you know i apparently look like a celebrity? too bad it's that Yasin guy, formerly of the nasyid* group Brothers (eh?!). that's what i was told by the guy who was laminating our graduation photos. apparently, also, the entertainment world is composed of nasyid groups and Akademi Fantasia. fie on thee, i'm supposed to look like my aunt. me: *omgwtf this isn't in the least bit clever!!!* but that's a guy. if thoughts were audible, i woulda been booted from UM in my first year. i was looking for pictures of that Yasin guy, but the articles available don't even have his full name, let alone nice pictures. i did find out that he's UM alumnus (business admin and syariah... wow). we got the preview shots for the studio portrait and *sob* my ears are so big. but then i had a look at the family pics from the recent Gawai gathering, and my ears aren't out of place there; so i surmise that it must be a trait inherent to those of east malaysian aboriginal blood. at least it gives one something to hold on to, which is exactly what i do sometimes. * - muslim religious songs sung in harmony to the accompaniment of local and Middle Eastern frame drums played in interlocking rhythms.
who do you think should play Heathcliff?
YOU PEEPLE LIEK PUSSY!!!!1111111!!
laminator fella: yeah, well, i think he looks like a girl.
me: *omg you're rolling my photo over!!!* heh.
pussy you can't turn down
isn't he adorable? not mine though.
10 August 2004 8:59 a.m.if it's the semester break right now...
why are there still so many cars in the medical faculty? the students should know when to take a break, like pests workaholics should.
it was a bit surreal driving past the main hall - there were graduates everywhere, taking pictures and carting bouquets around. little did i know that i, too, would be an unwitting part of the scene when some friends got the same idea. all i wanted to do was look at my stage pictures, right?
i love my stage pictures - i'm taller than the Vice-Chancellor. hohoho. in fact, i towered over everybody that day. now i just top them by an inch or so.
went for a foot massage later in the evening - am still feeling the Heel Effect (self-explanatory, i hope). the masseuse (masseur?) said my digestive system wasn't so hot. i wasn't expecting that from a foot massage, but it must be part of the tortured artist package.
10 August 2004 8:48 a.m.sunday a.k.a. attack of the snap-happy parents
"ey, take pictures at the park lah!" said mum. dad loads both cameras with film.
"er...," quoth i. "in my baju kebaya ah?"
"that too!"
(shit)
walk down to the park. stomp onto the bridge. paste on smile.
"okay, now on the left side of the bridge."
pull out robe. put on robe. ignore expats walking by with their toddlers. ignore gawking toddlers. ignore the "proud parent" smiles on expats' faces. or maybe it's amusement. fiddle with hat. man walks by.
"congratulations!" he says.
"thank you," sez me. repeat posing on both sides of bridge. stalk down the jogging track. keep heels from sinking into jogging track. pose beside some flowers.
"how can we get the fountain in the background ah?" dad asks. parents discuss angles. the sun emerges from behind the clouds. stomp over to another flower bed.
"see, fountain in the background!"
"ooh," say parents. click. pose. smile. click. heels sink into soil. doesn't water ruin silk or something?
"okay, now go between those trees. what are they called ah?"
there's an eagle in the rubber tree over there.
"smile!"
feet starting to burn. want to lie down, but if i do so in the robe, i'll stick to the ground and never be able to get back up. another man walks by. others are content to watch from afar.
"parents, huh?" says man. parents beam proudly.
"hey, walk over there between the willows. i want to get the suspension bridge in the background."
heels sink into soil again. a father comes into view. his 3 daughters are within earshot.
"see the che-che* there? she graduate oredi," says the father. his daughters stare. "go and congratulate the che-che lah." the girls hang back. i step back onto the walking track.
"go and say congratulations to the che-che!" urges the father. random daughter slaps him bad-temperedly.
"ouch! hey, it's not my fault your backside got wet cos you sat in the water ah!"
he makes small talk with my parents. dribble drabble she has her whole life ahead of her now huh? stop. but then it's not really a good time for new grads, isn't it? pose. random daughter #2 turns for one last look. she says, "pa, are they malay or chinese?"
her father turns back. "go ask them lah," he grins. baju kebaya now holding its own weight in sweat.
* - big sister
10 August 2004 8:43 a.m.Umaga, i hold you responsible for it
but actually blaming the most fearsome looking Kiwi in the face for NZ's loss needs some serious bottle. or maybe many bottles of brew.
however, i won't blog about that, because my graduation ceremony is more important.
... actually, the only thing i can think of is that the upshot of 3 years' worth of studying appears to be an afternoon of trembly hands (no lunch and finding out that the hooks on your robe don't actually hold it closed), aching feet (because of your kick-ass strappy shoes), fidgeting (because you're not allowed pee-pee breaks), and surprise (when you find out that your PC lab stalker is some mat salleh-mixed type) before...
you take a 1 minute walk across the stage to receive your empty scroll and look for your parents but you can't see them because they switched seats, all the while trying to walk as though your heels aren't sinking into the plush carpet and keeping your head up so your hat doesn't fall off but you're afraid of tripping over your own feet because god you're shitting yourself under those bright lights with a smile on your face but don't worry it's only 2000 people watching you.
and then later on during the proceedings the message from your aunt finally breaks through the network logjam and you find out that she was on stage the whole time and she got her colleagues to clap for you but you didn't hear them because you didn't hear anything.
outside was pure chaos, but somehow Miss Tayk and Miss Anne Thrope found me and we snapped pictures in the middle of the road, oblivious to the cars and their irate drivers. somewhere in a distance, i heard a scream as a classmate was tossed into the air.
my parents inadvertently met Mister Ree and didn't comment until we were in the car. that damnable Master Bates took a photo with me (no, i'm not still mad at him because i've learnt to be diplomatic but now i am mad at him for thinking i'd waste brain space on him). somehow i have a big honkin' Pooh bear which is now sitting in my chair.
i also have the best senior in the world evaaar - he gave me a "photo" of me and Raúl, wrapped in a Hugh Jackman poster!!!!!OMGLOLLOLZONE!!OEN
by then, it was hard to keep being smiley because the strappy straps were beginning to be uncomfortably tight, so we retreated to the studio where i pasted on a smile and stood, sat, stood, sat, and stood some more for the potrait package they offered.
in the car -
mum: so... why is Mister Ree so effeminate? is he one of those (a transvestite)?
me: nah, he's just gay.
parents: *hold in surprise*
me: heheh.
always remember that "stressed" is "dessert" in reverse
i ironed my robe and scarf just now. never have i hated anything so much before. the woman said it was silk, but i doubt that very much. in any case, it was a very slippery material that refused to fold where i wanted it to.
things i shouldn't think about - what if, on the day of the convocation, people accidentally sat on their neighbour's voluminous sleeves?
tomorrow will see enforced skiving - the Tiara's not back yet. oh well. maybe i'm not fated to go for a horse-ride. what is it they say about girls who ride horses?
you know what, i have serious issues with people saying that it was fated for something to happen. i don't know why, i just do. it's so defeatist.
so i watched a movie. it was Mr Jones. i've never seen Richard Gere's appeal until now. he wears feathered hair so well, and he looks like a happy cross between Ruud van Nistelrooy and Giourkas Seitaridis. manic-depression definitely looks appealing now.
for the anoraks and those who watch EPL, spot the mistake -
Substitute for Manchester United ... Chad Lukewick..."
and then there was this -
"Vieira plays well and he also kicks people."
Alfredo di Stefano, former Real Madrid legend, reveals why the club want to sign the Arsenal skipper.
from The Sun
05 August 2004 3:23 p.m.update
mum just got back from school. it's a 2-lane road outside her school, and the left lane is always taken up by inconsiderate parents. (un)naturally, this leaves only one lane, and the "fast" lane to boot.
you're not allowed to speed outside a school in malaysia.
you're supposed to slow down when you see yellow lines on the road.
and, didn't anyone tell you about driving around a corner?
so today, she took a leaf from my book and wrote down the license plate numbers of the cars. she has to pay a speeding fine today (not hers) at the same police station where she made the report, and will bring those numbers with her.
remember, kids, the reason there are more stupid people than smart ones is that stupid people are expendable and the smart ones learn from those mistakes. also, categorisation is not permanent, so take heart, ye wee bairns.
while i'm at it, i'd like to point out that her own headmaster is a nitwit. the twit is a nutter from Maxwell HS (aha!) who constantly contradicts himself. his own wife met with a similar accident, but he keeps insisting mum was in the wrong. she should have done this, she shouldn't have done that. mum is civil, but i can see the cogs of her brain turning furiously to keep the angry retort down.
i have a friend from Maxwell - he can vouch that the guy's a nutter.
"some people say it's this way, some people say it's that way; some people say it's no way." - Walk Idiot Walk: The Hives.
05 August 2004 1:46 p.m.examples in trainspotting
there are geckos in every household, but ours are the most unique-est evar. you see, my mother unfailingly brings about the demise of every ant she sees, thus resulting in the breakage of the lizards' food chain. the spider population has also been mysteriously decimated, bringing with it possibly tragic implications.
so, they adapt, and go for bigger prey. many is the time i've a wee critter fearlessly snatch a larger, chitin-coated member of the arthropod kingdom and dash it insensate against the cold tiled floor before consuming it with a relish born of extreme hunger (okay, so i'm anthromorphing them but so what).
their forays have grown bolder, for they now patrol the kitchen counter, alert for minute scraps of food, lurking in the shadows of the shelves; patiently waiting for our absence before venturing forth to lap greedily at the honey that remains around the cover of the bottle. the peace only lasts until mum wants another cuppa.
as i was cleaning my room yesterday, fighting off the dust bunnies with all the courage i had, i heard a strange sound in the kitchen. shrews have made their uninvited visits through the kitchen window before, so it was prudent to investigate. as i stepped out, i was rewarded with the sight of a lizard leaping off the stove, dragging with it a small strand of raw Maggi noodle.
i shall pretend that they are really London street urchins under a spell/curse. somewhere in the dark recesses of our roof, their Fagin lurks and waits and plots.
