2 reasons for me to be the only person allowed to hurtle around in drive a 4WD vehicle -

1. WLP 5747 - whose not-yet-19-and-yet-possessed-no-P-sticker-but-was-speeding-like-a-cliché driver hit mum's car. she was turning out of her school as she inched her inconspicuous little Tiara onto the yellow box in order to watch out for oncoming traffic, but her view was tragically thwarted by...

2. WCM 2442 - which was driven by one of those women who think it's fine to jump queue because she's a woman. in this case, she was parked right beside the school gate, waiting for her precious child to exit and leap gratefully into the safety of her doughy arms. twas this harpy who, upon witnessing the accident, heaved her behemoth girth out of its confines to point the accusing finger at mum.

"you were going fast, i saw you!" she shrilled.

*insert cliché about glaring daggers*

"orang tu pandu laju lah!" piped up the children who were waiting at the nearby bus-stop. bless them. there's a speed limit outside schools, remember?

you stupid cow, it's impossible for a teacher to scream out into a road in her 10 year old Tiara, especially when the teacher in question is my mother. you are obviously delusional and self-righteous, possibly self-righteously delusional; and are rightly due for a kicking.

mum doesn't use guerilla tactics - she made a police report. what's the penalty for driving without a license?

***

etiquette for parents

it's something i'll never understand, you know, how parents insist on dropping their kids off right at the school entrance. it's useless - if your kid is going to go and cut school and get wasted, they'll do it when you've driven off, coccooned in your delusional complacency. if someone is going to kidnap/molest/flash/worse a kid, they would have done it already - they wouldn't wait for you to show up and ruin your life in the 30 sconds it takes for a child to walk to the car. but maybe they'll ruin your car (you didn't see that here).

it's times like this that make me want to do a Jordan, except instead of just flicking 'em, i'd heave the whole bottle of shillings at the offender, wouldn't i?

***

man, i just received another 419 mail. you'd think these people would learn to speel if they wanted to be convincing, and not type in ALL CAPS if they wanted me to be sweet to them. and how is it possible to be a "motherless child" when both parents are dead? is Miss Faith Brown a clone? or was her father not really her father? therein lies a Matrix-like conundrum.

p.s. - mum has taken the Kembara, so that's why i'm here, which explains the length of this entry.

|

03 August 2004 4:31 p.m.
ornament me, will you?

if Suze is right, it brings the whole concept of having children into a questionable light - are people so starved of self esteem and feel so small that they need teeny extensions of our egos to appease the hollowness?

i had a go at strutting in the new shoes. it's cool, but it will definitely be different walking on a plush carpet on the day itself. i've already decided to stuff my valuables (not family jewels, okay) into the pocket formed by the scarf.

or maybe i shouldn't.

i didn't skive off work today, you know - i left early. there's a difference, i.e. i did not skive off work.

i met one of the profs in the Amcorp mall car-park though. well, "met" isn't accurate - i honked at her. oh no, i just made me sound nasty when i really am not! she was crossing the road and i recognized her. she asked me what i was doing, so i turned down the Ash tape (eheheh) and told her i was going shopping.

why are people surprised when i shop alone? do i need a financial restraint or something? i left my ATM card at home, alright, but now i have Tyrannosaurus Hives (woo woo) and Mad Love. Mad Love has a bonus vcd, so i can watch Robi Rosa on endless loop.

for my sake, stop calling him "gappy Ricky Martin".

i remember hating the book the first time i read Wuthering Heights. maybe i read a mangled edition (what, no sex?!), because now i just hate the characters.

that's testament to the writer's skill, isn't it? it's easy to say that she was hiding behind the beauty of language and that it was an exercise in empty style, but i hate the characters. i think that says something.

lastly, would a firewall prevent me from opening links in a new window? how can i undo this?

|

02 August 2004 6:28 p.m.
a real entry this time

so i was leaving UM and my way home takes me past the engineering faculty. I SAW HORSES. CHESTNUT-COLOURED TALL HORSES GLEAMING IN THE EVENING SUN.

i didn't veer off my path, unlike some people hahahaha.

i'm still dazed. it was like seeing Ruud in the flesh.

in addition to that, there's a real fun-fair at 12th college, with a ferris wheel and everything. this has to be the best convocation festival ever!

the shock of seeing the horses was such that i drove home in a daze, and inadvertently ended up at Ikano. since i'm an adaptable sort, i found myself at the Padini outlet. a short walk to the ATM resulted in me being the happy owner of 2 pairs of shoes - one strappy, and one that's kinda greek-style (so that no one can step on 'em like my other pair).

i say it's better than blowing RM200-300 on a pair of hand-made couture shoes (why???), but dad got this disapproving look on his face. i know, i know, convocating is a once in a lifetime thing, but the line has to be drawn somewhere.

Happy Tree Friends! (don't blame me for the psychosomatic disturbances, you pussies)

|

02 August 2004 8:49 a.m.
ooh, suits you, sir

good thing we attended the convocation rehearsal yesterday - the stand-in for the Sultan was a guy who had this deep, Alan Rickman-like voice, but without sounding vaguely peevish. since he was much older than Chris Cornell, his soul patch was a nice touch.

if you think i'm exaggerating, which i never do, MT, Miss Tayk and i clutched each other and squealed in an embarrassingly fan-girl manner when he spoke. then they repeated the demonstration, so he had to speak again; and we clutched each other in anticipation. as he did so, the heretofore silent hall filled with a murmur of appreciation and awe from both the boys and girls.

you know what, parents go insane during graduation season. they make their kids do things they'd never done before. they could be living vicariously through their off-spring, but why would a man want to wear 3-inch heels? forget i asked.

yeah, okay, i understand the pride they feel (or not), but doesn't it say something when you see a twenty-something person sullenly following his parent(s) around the mall? seasonal periods expose a lot of people for what they really are, i suppose. the wish of every parent in the world is to make their kid into a Christmas ornament.

***

so we've been having problems with viruses making their unannounced visits. has anyone met kuang2, matyas and gaobot, or do we just have spectacularly ill luck?

i doubt re-installing the OS is the proper step, but that's exactly what my brother did in the middle of the night because "he was frustrated with all the viruses". gee thanks - i lost the script for the comment box, as well as the results of my Battle Royale chracter quiz (i'm the girl in the video - i stay safe but live my life in mental torment woo woo).

most tragically, i lost the fucking hot picture of Stefan Olfsdal (?) and Brian Molko of Placebo - they are in a position that can only mildly be described as "improper". how hot was it? it was so hot it would have melted the non-stick off a non-stick pan, it would have seared the skin off your face if you got any closer to the screen. the heat could blacken cajun fish and cause all your clothes to fall off your body. but i've lost my favorites list as well, haven't i, so i need to look for the website again.

it could have been worse - my life-changing novel might have been saved here. or my master's dissertation. or even my master's proposal manuscript. in any case, this is for the person reading over your shoulder -

|

31 July 2004 7:55 p.m.
i'm gonna sound like a poser...

but i'm really actually a shy person. Me is just an act. i should win an award for it. once, i read a story where one of the characters was afraid of looking cowardly in an impending war. he told his friend, who, instead of laughing at him and outing him to the rest of the troop; told him to fake fearlessness - in battle, no one can tell the difference. so there.

probably every one feels like that at least once in their lives.

you know how you have some days when a normal process of nature is distorted into the ultimate put-down? man, i'm so sad that even my ova don't want me.

i wish i could give my friends pseudonyms like Miss Behave(d), Miss de Minour, Miss Anne Thrope ans so on, but i'd lose track of who was (w)ho. however in this case, i'll make an exception for my bestest friend in the world evar, whose presence is made dearer by her absence.

so, Miss Anne Thrope has spent the past 2 months in another state, pursuing a medical degree. she came back today to attend the biomed's annual gathering, and also to attend tomorrow's rehearsal.

i'd arrived in time to miss my name being announced for the dean's list (that's my story and i'm sticking to it), but MAT saw me in the back and came over. she gave me nail-polish (yaaay) whose colour reminded me of Chris Cornell's eyes. how cool is that? i wish i could think of something to give her every time i see her.

and then the performances came to an end and the biatch hurtled through her lunch and left me for a warehouse sale. now that's love.

and, no, i can't see why Brad Pitt is better than Eric Bana.

p.s. - (because i seem to be the unwitting target of such search engine hits) it's not "dievx", but "dieux"; as in "dieties" or "gods", as in "les dieux du stade" = "the gods of the stadium". i think roman letters were angular, paradoxically possibly because the romans themselves were not.

|

30 July 2004 7:22 p.m.
you know what irony is?

it's a lecturer who presentation leaves you more interested in his thumb drive.

it's that Romanian player and his 3000 fine and 6 months ban.

it's a hockey reporter writing about the soccer match between Manchester United and Celtic.

it's Jonah Lomu getting a new kidney already. i'm not begrudging him his health, but still there are others out of the limelight whose lives are just as important.

ditto Christopher Reeves.

unrelated - there was a moment in King Arthur when the bishop told Arthur the name of the man he had to collect, and i nearly breathed, "ooh... Marius." oh, c'mon, you can deny it all you want, but now you'll want to watch The Queen of The Damned.

is it a Danish thing to have killer cheekbones? re: V. Mortensen and M. Mikkelsen.

i must be soft in the head - the speech that Xander gave to Dawn in BtVS made me cry most alarmingly sniffle. aw.

|

29 July 2004 6:43 p.m.
it must be magic

last night's sniffly nose made me think that if i wore clothes a size too small, tottery heels and wiggled my bum around the faculty today, i'd feel better. apparently, i looked "lady-like"

all that happened was that a korean guy asked me if he and his friend were indeed at the medical college. they had nice skin.

understanding accented english does not mean i attract weirdos. you're just jealous because you've never seen your stalkers, and unlike me, don't know who to avoid. you know who you are.

i wonder how many people saw my green underwear.

once, when i was very short, i had an unhappy encounter with salted fish. i haven't touched it until today when i had fried rice with salted fish.

if Rui Costa goes to MenYuu, then...

is Vieira going to Real or not???

nearly forgot - Guti looks dandy when he's not red in the face. so i take some of my bitching back. pah.

i still have time for a conspiracy theory - Faria Alam a.k.a. the straw who broke Dell'Olio's back, is a Rio Ferdinand fan, and this is how she's brought Mark Palios down. it's diabolically clever and you know it.

and if i know you people as well as i think i do, then this is the real reason you read my blog; and that's why it came last heheheh.

|

::back:: ::home::